I get nightmares, so I don’t like to sleep alone.

homosaurus-rex:

It’s actually a good thing that the zombie apocalypse starts in Florida because then the zombies only have one way to go and that’s straight up into trigger happy redneck territory. I give it two weeks before monster trucks and mullets save us.

(via thelaughingmango)

laugh-addict:

my life goal is to buy out an entire concert and then the artist will come on stage so dramatically and it will just be me sitting there like 

(Source: tridant, via thelaughingmango)

#Shia LaBeouf  #Transformers  #Cannibal  #Mean Girls  #Jesus  #Beast  #Vagina  

-makemesmile:

why cant americans just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit

do you mean degrees of FREEDOM

(Source: zeldea, via thelaughingmango)

-makemesmile:

why cant americans just use celsius it’s so much easier to spell than feiehreirheineiheit

do you mean degrees of FREEDOM

(Source: zeldea, via thelaughingmango)

Why can’t rappers rap about nice things?

• YEAH GIRL I’MMA TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF AND
• put them in a closet for you cause it’s polite

• YEAH BABY THAT’S RIGHT IMMA PICK YOU UP AND
• carry you to your bed cause baby I know you tired

• OH GIRL IMA SLAP DAT
• broom out of your hand because you’ve had a long day at work, and i can do it myself. 

(Source: the-vashta-nerada, via thelaughingmango)

urlsquatter:

I forgot the word “reindeer” today so I described them as “Christmas llamas” why

(via thelaughingmango)